The little dipper.

Space is so easy to conquer. So is long, lost love… my broken heart… any chasm any wall any prison any 

loneliness at all… we are all fellow prisoners anyway… fellow voyagers all… The family of Earth. To go forth with flag, the United States of depression we all share in common with the angels… the beings who inhabit all of space. We all share the same hearts… these same souls these same fears thus terrible dread and 

This terrible life I have with you. Bound to you. So lost in hours like these. Writing you love letters with no address… except the address of deep space. I know you hear me… I know you are there dear love… That is all I have though. There are no postmarks here… No confirmed deliveries… I never know for sure. But isn’t that a big part of the thrill of love… to meet the one at last to whom my heart ran, this Spirit of Heaven… the artistry of God… the watercolors of Wonderland for my love.

Space… is only one more way to say, “I long to travel any distance to find you… are you in Glendale? Are you in the rings? Are you that gentle spirit of the LORD who is called upon? It doesn’t matter as long as I can reach you somehow. I try on all wavelengths.”

And then? Having (felt that I have) done all, I am in s peaceful place at last. And you… it may take a million years before you can show yourself to me. My lover who goes back over ancient times, this girl… this boy… who HOLDS MY HAND and whispers to me across any depth or distance… 
Something. Maybe one day I will hear your words too. Until then I am complete in you… It does not matter what you are… Exoterran life form (EtLF)… a lady… my friends from the stars. 

Well it is fun to learn about alternative relationship patterns. Considering that they cost nothing (not counting the counseling sessions) what a terrific bargain that is. Probably explains why I am so shy… boys run from me… girls are strangely attracted to me… 

I keep hoping something I do is of some use. Galactigal seems to think so, they told me, “just send us anything you do… don’t even stop to think about it and don’t waste a second with editing. Just send it girl and don’t look back.” 

Okay Galactigal. You win. Here is the next pile see what you can do with it. 

M looked up from her journal. It was about the only thing she was allowed to do inside the Facility. She wrote… stories… Of all the world’s she had visited. Earth was only the mist recent.

‘These creatures… are very determined bunch,’ she tinkle-talked to her home world. ‘they think they contain us… i will show them they are wrong… tonight I will escape this place and they can’t stop me… all I need is a form… something … scary… what frightens the humans… what makes them afraid?’… I know…

Young love… makes them afraid.

Nambi looked out from the cell they had put her in… yes it is time to escape… I have to find a boy

… I have to find out how these creatures feel… what brings on longings… we have to know their longings… a boy… 

“Where can I find a boy, k?” I asked my friend in the next cell. “Where do I have to go?”

K tapped out her reply in code in the plastered walls… “I would try the high school.”

The High School. Hah. Hadn’t thought of that. I can be anyone… I want to be… delicate and… frail… And a little wisp of a girl… Earth boys love that. They live to rescue a girl in distress… funny, if they only knew… it is always the Martian girls who rescue the boys.

We like to let them think they are so strong though. So strong. 

M tapped back her reply to K… ‘yes… tonight… I will escape I will be that thing they are all so scared if…

true… love.’

And  little M closed her eyes snd prayed. And slowly her body began to change … the form of a hideous being. A thing of monstrous intentions… scales began to form… and then claws… and then…

Alarms going off.

***

Don’t be afraid of me. I am different, yes that is true I can’t hide it. Our world is of a different order… the laws… we never thought about the laws of love. We did not understand why trust can be hard… you don’t have to run away any more. Dear lady of the seven seas of eridani… “See? My planet is a lot like yours… not that different… ”

I know. Still I am scared. What will happen… And is it worth the risk to trust again?

That is why we are alive … To believe over and over and over… Throughout all ages… And if I am hurt again, then good! One… more… chance to smile through oceans again and not care where I am taken… To live is to face pain like ice cream froozo pops… falling on hot sidewalks and 

Oh it is no use. You see how I try to keep going with the words and hints of stories as we go. I think it is the ‘hint’ of suggestion of a tale that pleases me. It is like… the symbol of the actual story… this tries to represent more than explain, act as the wrapper or container, more than list everything out. What stories are my own characters trying to create? What are the common themes between Michelle’s world, and mine? 

***

Dear Caroline…

Dear Alystra…

Dear Josephine…

Maybe I can take care of all the dirty laundry in letters. What… do you think about that? I have tried to… determine a way to provide…

My Author above… a way to vent… release so much that the dear man has bottled up in her heart. She seems so… So tormented and sad… all I have desired in the next big thing is a lot of difference. And then you think I have a brain? You don’t want to see what I am… You don’t have a clue. 

So yes… There you go, darling man I loved, there is a firm mattress. For you, much love,

Your guardian angel

… PS… And then just stick the Floog’s logo Herr and call it good. Make sure you some space at the bottom of the ad for the local dealer info… their txigli and fernbink links too. And I guess a physical address if the customer really has to see the actual piece of furniture.

Somewhere along the way (it began on the trip to Mars) I found a happier place to live… I found heavenly pages and knights… kings and queens… creatures of other realms different forms… just as real as the Earth I left behind. JUST AS REAL! Do you hear me? Just as real! And s lot easier to contend with than the planet I once loved with all my heart snd soul… “You must take care of her, daughter” the good Lord whispered to me when I was in knee-highs… And I tried… I thought it was why I was alive… to care. To care about my home, my community my family my job my country… this third world… I could neveg establish communication with the creatures though. And I tried over and over. I… really…a rainy

If I was a scout from Mars… or some other star system and I was sent to Earth to determine its condition and s policy recommendation I would report:

The natives have learned all they can about physical existence. They need to be released from their bodies.

And at that point the worlds of space would mercifully destroy the Earth. Then we will all be free. Then we can float

Between the stars. Where we belong.

That must be what it is. Five years ago… The earth was destroyed. That would put it at sometime in late summer… August I guess… If the time sync estimates are correct. So from your point of view back then… Is it twenty-seventeen for you? Then I would prepare for that event

Now. Whatever that means for you… maybe pray more or something. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to stand before God in heaven? I guess you are about to find out.

//report ends//mvu//twenty a twenty two//xmt//

I could write letters now, ask forgiveness or leave the door open for others. People are so scared though… No one wants to talk anymore. Even these guys down the hall here at my apartment turn away from me… Too embarrassed to face me. My guess is that their wives found some of my little notes I was leaving on their doors and… No, they didn’t tell management about me, nope… They tucked them away for a rainy day… Only… The rainy day never came.

But the wife did. She found ’em. And my little drawings too. Sorta erotic. Maybe. Do you think their wives did stumble across those hiding in the back of their underwear drawer? 

Survey says… Yes!

Lol… I live to torture the men around me. One day my revenge will be complete and justice will be served. Until then I am sticking with my girlfriends. They are safe. At least I can’t get impregnated by them. We like to pretend though hahaaa… 

First comes love… Then comes marriage… Then comes… Nothing! Lololollllllll l l… sorry. I thought it was funny. I think I just found me a new girlfriend.

Venusian? Maybe… maybe the little dipper.

Oh the fun of being lost in imagination. in this place I am do happy. Even when I make up horrible things happening…  I am still very happy behind the horror.

***

You know… A lot could be explained as dome result of extraterrestrial contact ( experiments or efforts ). It seems to me that a universe of many forms of life would be so interested in making new friends … across great distances. And that when these efforts are made, it tends to tear away at the structures of the contactee’s respective realities… that they have spent their entire lives trying to build… only to have the rug pulled out from under them at the last. Because it challenges everything we were all taught. Not in a bad way though… Just different. I sure wish it wasn’t this way… but I do not seem to have much say so anymore… 

And that is fine. I am rather exhausted. NASA… Rather worn out from your little ten year experiment. What do you want from me? From us? From Earth?

(3 set packets)

PW, lambda alpha. Turn, begin. Or play BEGIN.

QW, Nu alpha, within begin. Or nurture. Physical reality (that) begins, intent, direction.

4C, delta beta, nurture. This pHYSICAL REALITY that I am experiencing at this moment (whatever you like to term that) as or. In play themes. Innocent one way efforts to build a personal reality you trust. Sometimes those fall apart. (Breakdown).

So as a statement from ‘beyond’ (who do you want that to be from? Why not from a very distant world or planet somewhere… maybe they know about Us… Maybe they are trying to reach out to us. This should say somerhing like, “turning beginnings (that are) within those beginnings, (that is) physical results we are both experiencing now. So this is probably the leading edge (or one of them) leading up to contact with a new world our in space. This could be affecting both sides simultaneously… Both worlds are being changed… But we all… WE all… With open face Beholding… You see? What they are trying to tell us… here is a we. You and me.

They are saying that’s … This is creating a new reality for our planets rapidly now… Exponentially faster it seems… Hey are learning too as we move through this developing scenario. They say we have options… Full speed ahead or go slow? Of course, you know me Houston… I would say full speed ahead… Go for broke. We made it to Mars why not cast off every fear and…

Lets… Dive… In… as a world. They extend to us some options there. And I will of course relay to them the noble intentions of my nation as any good radio op would.
You might to tune your radar equipment up a notch of two… let’s relax now… And watch the show of shows…

This… Celestial wonderland… wants to talk to us… these are love letters from space to us. Ultimately leading to secure homes, relationships, communities, a country so beautiful to me. 

Set beta…

One. 8W, Theta alpha, motion begin(s, ning)(began). Active intent, goal, direction, purpose. 

KNW, mu alpha, measure (that, this) begin(ning), or Delta alpha, nuture (this is the result of that) beginning, what begins. Or very play begin, very playful, imaginative, experimenting of intent. 

EMS, Delta, nurture, this moment I am experiencing. The basic life results, the primary existence values, nurture, care, love, help, heal, support, honor… So on.

Now they say, ” the very active beginning, is being measured as a beginning, is being nurtured, is or could be very fun as a direction. This should be, is being, is the resulting reality (now).”

Set gamma…

10S, (past), history of away communications. A past with some communication isolation, difficulties with others.

5P, (gamma) … view, pause, review, open, listening as the physical resulting reality now. So I (we, you, us) can know ( I you) am are being heard now for real.

KS, xi gamma, part (s) of communication, the examination of share, sharing, comms; or share share. Communication about communication. 

“A past isolated or a transition related to communications. Now listening to you, this is the actual reality now. Now we look at the parts and pieces that go into this, our communication between our two worlds.”

They seem very excited about this, best as I can tell. I can pick up on… celebration on their planet they are super excited about this, it. Jubilation us a word I can hear… Jubilation and celebration… Hey we can try that too. 

BYOB LA tarpie apartments off of Hollandale and Grove… come on over I have music going and everything and… and I can introduce you all around… This is light being number one… And two… and this is number Three.. Four five six seven… Eight nine ten…

And I am twelve … there are others too… He is from Venus… That girl over there… She is from Andromeda… with love… and that bunch there… I dunno where they are from… Just showed up tonight… And over there… That is my shrink. Hey come on let me introduce you to her … “Hey! Hey Bev I want you to meet someone… ,” yeah come on you’ll like her she don’t bite or nuthin… 

Ahh… Now this is more like it. My first big splashy party in l.a… I knew it would happen one day, Miss Kitten… I knew it was only… a matter of time.”

And the skies are nice tonight… maybe… (I could not help myself I had to hug you then and whisper by your ear… “Maybe we can have one more try at this scene. I promise I won’t crack any jokes. Or maybe I will… thanks for coming over,” I said.

“I wouldn’t miss it,” she said and kissed my cheek with her delicious smile… my my… what heavenly …creatures … they have in this universe… heavenly creatures… from Draco.

“Growl … L l…l…. ” she ssid, growling at me in a playful way. Yes she lives to play. Watch out with her. Watch her like a hawk you… You never know with her …

***

Monday, August… twenty one… Okay you guys back there should be having a solar eclipse across one of the greater landmasses. Is that the case? I know you do not have the interLinkSets to use, so you have no way to say yes or no. According to our calculations that should be happening today. Okay … next are the great ships that will land. We needed some way to really get your attention, Michelle … it seemed that this event should do the trick, aye? 

“Aye aye,” I answered in fiction. “Yap we are seeing a major total eclipse today… Should be a beauty.”

“What do you think… The odds are… In a pure chaotic system to see a moon the exact same size as the parent star?” She asked me from her future time. 

“Purty slim?” I replied. 

“Close to infinitely… slim….” she said softly. “You do hear me. Perfectly. You run away though… you are a scared little puppy dog. Mishi Wu. Scared… little… puppy.”

“Yeah… I guess I…. Probably am.”

“Its okay… It will all make more sense soon.”

“Define ‘soon’,” I requested tge silver love lady if my heart and soul… This spirit of Jesus Christ… snd all that is lovely in a boy or a girl … 

“Soon?” She answered. “How does today sound?”

Sure thing dear girl… You take it away… Whatever… I have no way to believe anything anymore. My soul is wrung dry… speaking of which… “You need some more of your drink…”
Yeah. It is true, so true. We were meatkng at the Helton for breakfast and tea and coffee and Schlitz…

And your beautiful

Eyes.

Good notes.

Xsaturday, August nineteen, twenty… Um… what year… I wish I knew. I think it is the future though. I think I am a creature of your future, trying… trying… to reach back and talk to you as a close friend would… try to connect with the past. Try to help… try to share… I am not sure.

I was doing some other writing here. Just sitting here on Swissy and it is another pretty day out there in Cali town USA… forever and for ever it would probably be this way. Me. Waiting. Writing while I am waiting. And you. Reading. And maybe you do read what I say, oh Lord above. Maybe you do. I want to believe that you do. I miss you… I used to… love you so much, but the words … They keep beating me up… and I can never escape their force. And yet… look at them Alpha… look at how puny they are, really. Look… see? How weak words are? They just lay on z page or a vusiScreen… They just lay there quiet as little mice. Waiting… waiting… for someone to come along with a little cheese. 

I love that about words though, oh Universe imf … I love that how words are defenseless and depend on a Human being to care for them. Keep the paper pages safe between boards. Keep the juices flowing that power the new inxtranet.2 
Think about that for a moment. New. Improved.

A new netKit for those of us who actually want to see a great nation, great relationships, a real story I can believe in called my country tis of thee. I still want that, even in this future, we want that. True communication and real results that matter. There is your tomorrow dear Union of seeking souls. There is our flag… it begins with the highest respect for one another… or at least try… and to ask the uncomfortable questions like…
Do we really want to be treating the children this way?

I am waiting for answer from you on that one. So far though…

Words love it when little pictures show up. “Hooray hooray! A new friend who likes us!” all the words celebrated. Pictures look so real… now. Now we are something. Now we are real. Now we must be taken seriously! 

Ha ha… ha… It is the big joke among all the word peoples… How hard the words can act and make others believe in how reliable they are. Because that is the longing of the Words. To be regarded with respect. To have a chance to play, just like the children of earth do… And the children of darkness. They all get to be a part… why can’t we be a part too?

And the other kids lambasted the words, and mocked them. “You are just a bunch of losers!” they jeered.

Until. One day… the husbandman showed up again. And began to see what was going on. How the big boy club was… really being the bug boy. Then? You want to see what happens then? With the husbandman? 

Just tune into your news today. And find out. Back there in the past… what is it there? Twenty what… Seventeen? Hmm? Tune into your favorite news today… and bring pencil and paper cause you are going to want to take some good notes.

//conn.close

Sometimes I wonder what heaven is really after. I know that it is more than playtime. Fun is important sure but sooner or later the little kiddies have to be told that playtime is now over and now begins the serious work of trying to rebuild a nation out of ashes of what we once were. What happened to us? What happened to me? To this mind I used to rely upon. I trusted it because I was able to communicate with others. Once that ended… Once the Alpha Lander set down on Mars… and I knew, really knew, that I was so totally alone. Then… there were no longer others. And then… soft as spring showers in Tennessee… my mind… slowly, delicately, sometimes in a delightful way… Began to unravel.

Sometimes not so delightful.

Help.

Is…anyone…out there… anywhere… if any time, any planetary system any galaxy any dimension any God or faerie or demonic tug boat… Or… is it only me. Me and this rattlesnake mind… losing it… watching in horror as all the marbles slowly slip out of my head. I used to try to catch them up in a shoebox or something. After a while I gave up… I let them roll away, fall into the HVAC supply vent… “Goodbye! …goodbye… ” and then I lost sight of them.   I guess you could say 

I LOST MY MARBLES. 

please forgive me. I should have told you, been honest with you… that I was not “all there” when we began to cohabitalk. You had to find out the hard way and that made me sad. I am willing to try again though. If you like.

Have you told anyone yet that we were both writing thus together?

No. Not yet. I have alluded to it on occasion. 

Well go ahead and tell them… I don’t think it matters any more buddi… they all know. They all know…

Everything.

What does this have to do with me?” I asked the beautiful girl of Aldebaran Avenue. 

“What does it have to do with you?” she answered. “Well… lemmie axe you a question… What would you

like

me to do with you? See? I just kicked the ball back to you, and now ur us your turn… ” what do you like?”

What do I like? I like… coffee and tea with the sweetest miss e… is what I like.

Consider it done.

Really? We would be spotted. People would talk. That was always a concern for your sake.

I know. Yeah we did talk a lot about it, but… You know what? I think we are way beyond that, now… it is impossible to keep it a secret forever. I squealed to my girlfriends what we were doing tears ago. I never told you that...

Oh. Hmm… well I guess now I know.

Yeh… Sri… I think it worked out though cuz they have been blabbin all over town about. It. 

Don’t fret. Everything is cool. This is perfect see? You will not have to even say a word. It will just be you… And me… and that sunshine beach… And the waves… And the sea gulls… And a good firm mattress. 

I know the perfect girl.

One way or the other, these Glendale High School girls are going far. We are a team, right?” I asked you as we crossed intersection of Holland and Mulstin. One of those days you just can’t stop holding hands… can’t stop… 

“Hey check it Nichie… Where has that playground been all our lives,” you said with big wide open smile so bright and beautiful. We swung each around for a while… 

We have the best time ever when we get together. I have noticed that… with you I can laugh… be myself more… be more real… not care… let these interplanet winds blow through me. Remember? All the poems we wrote back and forth. Never telling a soul. Only leaving little notes.

I thought that was so funny… how they were okay with us passing notes in class… knowing good and well what was going on betwern us.

“Does that seem kinda weird to you, Buck?” Nambi asked her boyfriend. “…how they looked the other way?”

“They can see how… real… it is between us… that is why,” he said softly to me, holding me close on that playground. “It feels so good with you,” I replied and gazed across the schoolyard into the setting sun.

“Beautiful… sunset…” she whispered to him. And then she pulled away from him just enough… to look into Buck’s eyes… and ask, “when will the weird stuff stop happening in our town? Why… can’t it be simple and sweet or something?”

Your que Buck. Wrap those arms around her again and tell her, “I don’t know. I am here for you even if it… never stops.”

They held each desperately close. 

***

It helps I think. Stories help. And they can be anything. Start with nothing. Dream up a gate, cross stars that way. We will show your people how. It is so easy and you are so close … so very close. All you need little Earth, is that gentle little push… And hold on… And watch portals open for you. That us all they are… Portals… 

Exoterranuc portals. Organic… And knowing… And very hungry for us all to give them our minds. That is all they ask! Your mind! Just give them your mind, tell them tonight… “Yes. U give you my brain, yours to hold. You can have it now please fill with the alien ways that once upon a time, scared me so much. Not any more though… now…

I want you in my thoughts.    I want you… inside of me.

Take me I am yours. Make of me what you will. Let another planet chart my ways, bringing me to my peaceful place within. So… tired… so… weary… of trying to resist you… um… Mmm …. no hang on it …no not that way… here lemmie help ya…

It was the gods honest truth. How hot she was for anything fun as long as it was responsible and gentle. Although… you know what scratch that there were too many nights where she went hog wild on me… so… yeah she was a pretty crazy girl…

***

Friday! Hooray hooray hooray hooray we made it again hooray! Lol… I used to get excited about Fridays even on Mars. Old habits die hard. 

I probably won’t write anything today on my novel. Take it easy. Watch the little clouds float by. Looks like the weather for LA is going to be super nice today. I sit out here in my deck and sip on a mimosa… actually I think this is my fifth one this morning. I could be in a party mood or something isn’t it about time we had some fun?

What else is going in? I have been studying the Bible some. You want to hear anything in that? How about first Corinthians fifteen… ring any cells wid ja girls? Sure….you know it is the letter that apostle Paul wrote to try and knock some sense into those those… those Corinthinites! Nasty people. Actually I think they were nice. I wasn’t there to see it. Kinda wished I could have been though.

Wouldn’t it have been so incredible to have been alive in that day? To see those miracles… to watch the beginning of this new offshoot of Judaism. Paul did his best. He tried to explain best he could… “The law avaiks nothing,” he said over and over … how many times must that message be hammered into us before we get it? A million times? How about a million times a million! 

He talks a lot about this resurrection of the dead. And how there are unique forms of the new body. He was trying to convey this idea of our lives on Earth being like a seed. That the seed has to perish in order to keep growing… Eventually becoming this NEW something-or-other that maybe only God knows… what that will be.

I used to love the Bible. Humans of Earth… I had issues with… The scriptures always sounded so magical to me. I always believed that one day… one… day… I would understand the messages and enter a happier time of existing. 

Jesus probably had the right idea. Love God up close… and love people from a great distance away. Safer that way. Nothing wrong with the creatures of Earth it is just… it can be noisy down here and sometimes you gotta get away to hear from heavenly places. And how I live to hear… from heavenly places…

You are like that to me dear Wanda Jane… a saint to me. How you remained my friend through thick or thin. Like… an angel to me, you are.

Hey if you are reading this Miss Jane, stop by and we can make Mimosas all day long and fool around. I know you are close by. Somehow… I know that.

Maybe today… Is that day when the sky splits open and… and then… well I am not that certain what happens then. We float upward? Float off into exalted places… well I’ve been doing that all my life anyway…  losing my way in loopy lala lands. Seems to come natural to me.

I hope you have the mist incredible and wonderful day of your life today dear lady if the misty mansion lands.

No, not talking ’bout bellaire baby… talking about those mansions on sea coasts and caves and hidden places where hermit crabs seek shelter from that scorching sun. Places… like we used to play in when we were little.

Don’t worry. I promise you I am not going to turn this unto a bible lesson. Unless..  you want me too? How about that Wandy? You like?

Okay.

Well then, how about you, Miss Capella. When’s the last time you got good bible study? Do you need that? If Wanda is busy then you can come over. Maybe its about time you got a good talking to anyway. Feeling a little guilty, right? Yeah…  well come on over then. 

Unless. You are just too busy too. Hey that’s okay. I found another little friend, uh huh. Yap. Sure did. Who? Well I guess that will have to be my little secret. She made me promise not to mention her name or talk about her personal needs. Unless… unless it really all needs to come out.

Okay I will go ahead and tell you what I know about her. First of all… not really as innocent as she looks. Not by a long shot. Matter of fact

Oh I can’t… better stick to first Corinthians… You like mysteries? 

Behold… let me show you one.

***

I really don’t know where I am any more. I wake up on Earth I wake up on Mars, I search for meaning, I go to bars. Maybe one day I will stay in one place… settle down at last. Find a nice guy… build a beautiful home together. Simple, soft, spiritual, singing together. Getting drunk together, crying together, wondering together. Whoever that is wherever that is let me sleep forever on that world.

Sorry… again, I wish I was not this way I have no man I have no home I am alone in Glendale, Mars. Maybe it is only a phase. It has been such a long phase though… Ever since I was born I have cried out… for truer love, for God or an angel. Sometimes the loneliness is so painful, I would take a devil for a partner. Or a bunch of them, what difference does it make, they probably don’t like me either. 
Dr. Bev said there would be days like this. Darker than midnight and she recommended lots of wine, weed and whatever else I can get my hands on. She specializes in early exits. Thank the gods and alien hoards for a good psychologist. My kingdom for a kind, listening shrink who won’t give up on me! It is all I have anymore… I am not… having… a… real… good… time… any… more… all I want is to leave all I want is to leave all I want is to leave all I want is to leave all I want is to leave all I want is to leave all I want is to leave all I want is to leave all I want…

is you.

Can love fun write the wrongs of life? Can kisses that go on way… too… long… (way past the ‘we are only friends’ limits)… Can they heal everything can they make me whole again? Can they help me stop writing?

Would it have been any better if I had stayed in one place? Jenu? I liked that alien world they were nice to me. I could have stayed there, I had a husband there, I think. We had a home on that moon… it was nice… we had a city being grown. We were an outpost of Earth. I was happier there… I guess I could go back… I guess I could…

It really isn’t Earth or L.A. there us nothing wrong with this town. They live me here, they are sweet as cucumber pie… I have a wonderful jib here, I have bright tomortows here don’t I? Don’t I? Right? Right? … please… please someone say, right.

Where to ho from here… run ads for a boyfriend I guess… “Wanted. Guy. Must be able to…

cook.”

I could be looking for love in all the wrong places though. Well, good. I tried all the right places and came up clutching red dust heartbreak…

Promise me dear… promise me another try with you after thus Earth has ended. Promise me you will wait for me on that farther shore… then I can lay me down in peace… then I can go home to

my eternal reward.

You. You baby you you… you… there is everlasting rest in your dark eyes… Salvation times two.

Its a guaranteed way to reach other star systems too… With nothing left to lose, a girl can make it to any star. I learned that lesson when I was si young… I… built… starships… in my bedroom… I took tides with me to Regulus… I sailed on Denebian shores… I made Capella my home… we partied together.

Yah a party is what I need. Who can I invite that would actually show up… My cat… my liitle freshwater fishies I recently got. Hey did I tell you about that? Yes I got an aquarium and some fish to keep miss Kitten happy. Now she has some little slippery friends to play with. So we can party… would fishies like vodka in their water? I would if I was a fish… if I was a fish… I wouldn’t take any carp from anyone.

Oh this is horrible. I should not be allowed to type when I get like this… I think I will freshen my drink and go sit out on my balcony and watch the sun go down. You can come out here too… sit with me if you like. There, “yeah just pull up a chair right there… there you go… Now… Hold my hand and tell me it will all be okay, okay? If you do that I will pay you. How about twenty bucks a paragraph? Do you need the cash? Come on over… ”

***

Hey, Michelle can we talk? Hey yeah sure… hey how’s it going you hide a lot from me lately… everything okay? (This is a sincere question from MVU to me, I trust her voice because I KNOW her)

Oh yes I guess so. You know me girl… You know the places I go… I do hide a lot I guess so sue me.

Heh yeap…hey I hear you I am the same way. Some days… I have to really fight with myself to even make it to my job. Fortunately…

Fortunately, they understand and try to work with you. How nice. You see I wanted that for you, daughter. I wanted you to have a chance at a career, a job, a kind and empathetic corporation. They will work with you… you don’t have to go in if you don’t want to. Even if you never write another word… they will keep you as part of the family, it is family first. Not business first.

Thank you author. You are a cool dude where were you when I tried to date men, and gave up, concluding that they didn’t even have a brain?

Maybe the universe wanted you and me to be that couple… I feel more for love… true love… for you than for any other creature I have ever known.

You know what? I think you are right. I feel the same toward you. Granted, it isnt physical so much…

Nature will address our physical needs. Like… sex. I can’t really, literally hold you in my arms… encourage you that I am there. If hand holding or hugs or sexual intercourse was a requirement… God or nature would provide. Exitencd would provide… quantum background matrices would provide…

Yes… that seems true… maybe I would rather write about such things, than try to experience them on Earth. That raises a lot of questions … difficult questions… like… trust.

Once bitten twice shy…

Yeah for sure.

Maybe all this… life… being slice snd experiencing love and nice things was really intended to be an inside experience. The domain. The kingdom of the dreamers, heart-seeking lovers. Not a shakedown con game with a cupid logo stuck on it.

Could be… our common spaces should be the gentlest places if all… no noise at all… only quiet… gray… neutral… neutrality… spaces. A coue should be that way. The common space where we physically interact should be the softest most gentle place of all… listening… empathizing… trying to understand your partner… or any relationship.

A city too.

Yes. So… what else is on your mind?

Oh not a lot… I did want to ask you your opinion on something.

Shoot.

Do you think it makes me a coward writer, to only say important things in a fictional place, like this?

You mean… Does it make you a coward to limit your expressions of impuetance… like a social or corporation assessment? To limit it to fiction feels like you are hiding your candle under a bushel basket, right?

Yes. That is precisely my concern. If it was a trivial matter I wouldn’t care.

Right. But these are not trivial matters.

Correct. Not… so trivial… when it is trying to address large scale social or government or corporate behaviours. Then… it is more serious. 

On a scale of one to ten, how seri—

Ten.

To answer your question… I think fiction is a great place to start. It is safe enough here. You are only trying to help… Offer suggestions… Paint a beautiful and PRACTICAL picture if tomorrow that anyone can see, if they want to…

It could give my people hope again. A future written down, for America.

I think it is a wonderful approach. I tell you what, desr writer if my heart “up there”… let me do something to help you. What if send a sign that you know what you are talking about? Say… within three days.. 

What kind of sign? Like… a story or a poem or —

No. I am talking about a real sign… something in your physical life there, whatever that is like.

 I will send a sign in the heavens for all to see… how does that sound?

Sounds good to me you wild little Glendale chickie you. 

Ha.   Hey I don’t call you names!

Yeh. Sorry… I shouldn’t have said that.

Thsts okay.  We are friends and friends can say anything. And talk about it.

Mmm..hmm… so. You don’t think I’m yallar? Not a yallar belly? For being afraid to say anything in public?

On the  contrary. I think it works better that way for the reasons yiu touched on… trying to preserve the peaceful world outside your door… where respect for one another rules the day. Not one word of criticism about anyone.

Let the LORD GOD sort it out.

Amen sister. I wish I could go to your church, Michelle… I might even be interested in trying to go again. As it stands… I am deathly afraid of those places now… I am afraid for my nation, my community, my family… I think we are in big, big, trouble.

Could be. Then again you can’t really draw any conclusions… and still you are left with gentle surroundings… nature’s life to be watched over and protected.

Yes. And that is where I am having a bit if difficulty because I am SEETHING ANGRY within. And I surpress it physically.  And that is slowly… driving me… insane.

You know what you need, writer? You. Need a lover.

And I know the perfect girl.

To Earth Now.

“Hey Marshall,” my deputy said. He caught me gazing out the window of Helton’s only combination jail, courthouse and post office. “Why the glum face?” he asked.

“What?” I responded and then caught myself, busied myself with paperwork.

“Now… don’t you tell me you ain’t sad about something… I know you…”

“Oh… well… yes maybe a little…” I said. He sat down in the only other chair in the room. Backwards.

“You wanna talk about it?” he asked. 

“What? Talk… um… ”

“Yeah. You know. Talk. That’s where two people say words to one ‘nother n they make sense!”

“Oh… yeah… sure sure,” I admitted. “Well… it’s about a lady.”

“No kiddin’ boss I could a told ya that a mile away,” he replied, squinting at me. “Written all over yer face there Marshall.”

“Well,” I began, “I have feelin’s for her Buck. And… I don’t know how she feels about me… ”

“Oh is that all it is?” he asked. “Well shoot sheriff… I can tell ya right now she’s as crazy ’bout you as a pole cat on a merry go roun’…”

“And how would you know that, Deputy? I haven’t even told you who it is.”

Deputy Pugston smiled and looked out the window into the bright blue Wyomin’ sky. “…don’t have ta me tell… why… everyone in town knows who ’tis.”

“Really? The whole town?” I asked. 

“Marshall… by this point… I betcha the whole milky way knows… ya can’t hide it any longer… Ya can’t hide true lovin’…” and he grinned his toothless approval. “Jus’ go to her… tell her the truth…”

“Yep. I… probably should… get it all out into the open, right?”

“Yap. Ya probably should… ” and he leaned over my the old pine bark table and said quieter, “ya… ya need some help gettin’ that ‘ranged?”

“I… I am not sure… seems so far fetched… how can it ever happen?”

“Why, yo jus’ leave that to ole Buck now… I’ll get it all set up with her… something’… nice n’ romantic.”

“…nice… n’ romantic,” I repeated slowly. 

I wanted to believe him. I really… wanted to believe.

***

Don’t let those three little stars fool ya. They don’t mean nuthin’. It’s still me. Michelle. 

It feels like I am waking up from a very… long… nightmare. I tried my best to make a nightmare be a heavenly place. I failed so miserably. I am still a lost little astrogirl. So far away from home.

I still have not decided if I want to go back to Earth or not. Mars suits me just fine. Being lonely is just fine. In some weird way, it is like I am of more use on Mars than I ever was back on Home World. 

I tend to agree with you, westerns are pretty tame places. Space… Sci fi… is always bearing down on you. Demanding some proof that it is sci fi. You can’t let too many pages pass by without at least touching on some little science of the future tidbit… like…

I am looking out my Mars habiPod window now. What do I see? I see… red sand hills and my tracks leading back and forth to the SciPak kit surface experiments. Ten years worth of tracks. 

Tracks? More like trenches now… several of them up to my waist. You keep plodding… you keep following yesterday’s boot prints… eventually you wear a path strait through the planet. You come out the other side, upside down. And then? You don’t stop… you don’t stop how can you stop! You keep marching on. Strait up into space… upside down.  

***

What was it like? Living with a letter instead of a name? Not so great. 

M. They told me my name was M. They even etched it just above my left ankle. M. The girl from another planet. Planet M? These creatures are interesting.

There was s whole group of us after a while. I bunked with K. “M and K… sittin’ in a tree… k i  s s… ” well, you know the rest. I was happy to play along. The creatures seem to want to play. I guess it is play. They haven’t tried to kill me yet… that is playing… getting another day to be alive.

I found a boy. An earth boy. I want to leave this facility and go visit him. I know where he lives… I know he has an earth mommie. Maybe… one of these nights… I will run away and surprise him. Try to… reason with him… talk to him… explain to him…

That I am not really as scary as I look. Inside of me beats the heart if a young girl… inside…

Beats the heart if a monster!”

“Rrrrhhhhoahrrrr!!!” I growled at Derk. 

“Oh I love it Bambi” he said and kissed me. “I knew I made the right choice with you. Monster or no monster!”

I had let him sneak into my bedroom again… All these months and my parents still don’t have a clue. IH if they only knew… just how we were both helping each other with homework… we were currently studying for our human reproduction and physiology mid term. 

“You want me to read you some more of my story?” I asked. 

“Yes!” he replied. “Go ahead… see if you can scare me.”

See if I can scare him… ha… if he only knew what is waiting for him. He sure wouldn’t be here, sitting on my bed with me. He would be… running as hard as could to get away… running… and screaming.

“Okay! One more chapter and… and then you absolutely must go, Derk.”

Let’s see if he will obey me. Usually he doesn’t. Usually he stays over way too late.

Haven’t got caught yet though. Knock on wood. 

We need each other though. After all the weird goings on around here… it makes you want to find someone to be close to.

I wonder that he will propose to be one day… and we will have children and be so happy for the rest of our lives. Is that a scary thought?

“Grrrrrooooooaarrr r r…..” I pawed at him like I had claws. “Stop it nambi! Stop it you’re killing me!” he said, laughing hard. 

***

“So that is where I am at,” I said. Wandy had agreed to meet up for coffee, we were still kicking around ideas for a new series. Of all my colleagues at Galactigal, we seemed to click best, so the management told us, “you two girls brainstorm as much as you like… let us know whatever you come up with… we love the direction!” 

So she and I get together once in a while, go swap ideas… we were both working on the same script… some days she could sniff out the trail better than me. Then I was support… then some days …usually when I was off on one of my trips, to Mars or the new story just beginning…

In Neptune.

At last at last at last… a vidMOV series about a town on Neptune in the future. Wandy lived it and so did I… s chance to play together on another planet who wouldn’t jump at the chance. 

Mostly I was just hot for her to be honest. Neptune? Any world would do as far as I was concerned. A chance to share a moment with someone as cool as her?… I didn’t care where it had to be… 

“So that is where I am at,” I said to her. “The Neptune city is trying to make contact with Earth… and there is a girl on Neptune and another girl on Earth… and somehow they reach across all that distance…

and they make contact, dear Wandy… that us where I am not sure where to go from there.”

“Let me see what I can do,” she told me. “I’ll write some now… I have some ideas… kick it back and forth and see where it goes… it is all so lovely to me. Two worlds impossible… to reach across and yet these two manage it. I think is a wonderful development, Michele…”

“Me too!” I answered. “I knew there was something with Neptune, and you kept telling me, ‘don’t overlook the outer planet possibility’… and Neptune must be the key to it all.”

Wanda Jane sipped her Chico-froozie, “…mm… I love this new flavor. Have you tried this one?”

“Let me see…” and she extended her cup to me. I took a giid slurp of it. “Hey that is awesome!” I said, “it has a little nutty taste too… what is that? Nutmeg?”

“Let me see,” she replied and I handed her drink back. She tasted it again, “yes…it is either nutmeg or… Coriander… whatever it is they did a great job with it.”

Think of it. A dream client like GakaxaDolls fell into our lap. The chance to create stories that are advertising… ads that are stories… what client wouldn’t give anything to be a story like we do…

At…

Galactigal Advertising. 

The only all-girl ad agency on Earth? Why? Why all-girl? 

Because thats what galacti-chucks do… IT’S WHAT WE DO!”

“That is my backup slogan… just in case,” I said. “Never hurts to have a plan B.”

“Good idea, Mishi Wu… you go girl,” wandy said and laughed. “You crack me up girl… I read every word you know… Even your little sideline notes…”

She looked like the happiest person on the planet right then… at last at last my life felt like I had a purpose… I was able to make her happy. And isn’t that what good ads are all about? When she and I connected it was like gold-plated lightning. Clients went crazy over our approach. So did shoppers… the savvy ones. 

The Dolls were taking it in. Raking it in. Was it because of the Viktoria-Jane marketing solution? Or was it their fantastic people, froozers and pie poppers? 

At the NYC office of the Galactigal Advertising agency… We like to think it is a little of both. 

Now. On to Neptune, dear Wandy. Get a spacesuit ready. Vast mysteries await you. We will depend on you Wanda Jane, to discover what needs to be discovered. To answer the questions we are all too afraid to ask. That is where you come in… with your incredible LightStar drive, you can travel anywhere… please take me with you Wandy… Please…. PLEASE!… rescue me from Glendale… anything… anywhere is better than this! Wandy help help HELP!!!! 

Ha… just kidding. I actually like Glendale… at least my apartment I like… hardly ever leave it anyway.

Oh I dunno. Neptune. That is a tough sell planet. Solid ammonia landscape… Two hundred below zero. 

Frigidaire will be our next client. Watch sales explode. Anyone who is anyone will want only Friggies for keeping food and vegetables fresh and cold. 

“What do you want with me,” she asked softly as we walked out of the shop. “You know me… I am ready to pitch it. Are you ready to cash in?” she asked.

I held her hand as we crossed Sunset on our way back to where she had parked the hoviCar. Am I ready to cash in?

Am I ever. 

Every cow will be ours.

Hey. I like that too.

GalactiGals Advertising… “Every cow moos sooner or later.”

That was one of the first assignments you get when they hire you at Galactigal… come up with an agency slogan. They give you a partner to help you write it. And what else you do with your partner… you know… “other stuff” … that is totally up to the two of you. 

Never in my wildest dreams did I expect such… a… incredibly amazing… situation to open up for me… wonderful beyond belief… 

She… she was always around …there with a smile and that listening heart I trust. Of all the Martian girls I have met in my life…

I love you the most dear K.

-M

We left little notes for each other like that. It was all we could do. Get away with at the Ravenville Facility. Where they keep… every visitor… from the other planets of nearby star systems. 
We all get a Ravenville address. 

Sound weird? Yeah. Tell me about it. Call your congressperson or senator today… please… plead with them to 

be nice… to extraterrestrials… 

so we can be eben nicer to you.

Hey I want to visit Italy with you. I always lived those pictures. Seemed like a little piece of heaven on earth.

“We can do that,” she said as we kept strolling down Vines. “It sounds sweet… promise me plenty of stops for coffee and stories and gf restrooms, okay?”

“Okay… you got it girl.” I had to hug her then right on the sidewalk… Los Angeles spinning round… I didn’t care I found a friend in Earth… and she was all I needed.

You can’t go wrong, Wanda Jane… you can never go wrong being honest… and I think its time for a little more

honesty

Between us what d’ya say cowgirl Kitten… what do you have to say… when feelings like that overwhelm you. What in the world are we going to say… we are going to say…

“Looking for the best place in town for (something.x) then be sure to check out… (URL)this text place here(/URL). Tell them… Michelle and Wanda Jane sent us.”

And then a little mivMee about them… and then we kiss…  and then… that close up of the waves on the seashore… and then they turn out yo be canals on Mars and then we see…

“Hey check it out Wanda. We are still on Mars. All… this… time… every word every thought every longing sigh, and we thought we were on Earth… that I was a struggling girl in Glendale and you were a struggling girl in Bellaire… 

Oh no, Miss Kitten… No that’s not it at all. “We are still sitting in red dust soil we are… it was all a dream with you… what a thrill ride dream with you.”

Who knows. Maybe it really is like this on Earth. It could be. It is possible anyway. 

They keep sending us. One world after another … we come…  

TO EARTH NOW.

BGF

Wednesday morning, I am not sure of the date and maybe I don’t want to know. I know I am a life form though. And every life form is important to protect, watch over. Words… are like the blood that gives the story life. Without blood, there is no story because there are no words. Bring back the blood somehow…. let the little words live! Give them a chance to survive and create their own little worlds. A writer doesn’t create stories… a writer is just giving the story a chance. And that means you believe in your characters. They… become the star. It is a kind if partnership between the cast in the story, and the author. The writer (or whoever is creating the beginning of the story, generally a writer), and the elements of the story become friends… companions. You can even DATE your own characters if you want. And… if the desire us string enough, the make believe people can become real people. And then you no longer need the antidepressants.

There is a lot to be said for being able to escape this “real” life by falling in love in a story. Then… you are no longer on Earth. How can you be? You fell in love in isla land… and how can you be in two places at once? You can’t be… and if I must choose between the two, then… 

Give me story… or give me nothing.

I wanted so bad to be with her on Mars… she was all I thought about. Her up there alone. Probably holding one of those little scoop tools that reach down and pick small Mars rocks. She was alone! That broke my heart… she must have a companion… she must! And I saw none. No volunteers who would say, “here I am, dear author… Send me.” I heard no one… So I said to myself… “in that case, I will go!” 

And thus it is written, the writer became cast member and tried to work it all out within the story… and once you go. Once you find the special girl… that special boy… and go there to help them, live them, smother thfm with kisses and affection… thennn n…… you never come back… you never come back.

How well does the mind tolerate such wayward affairs? Not… very… well. The fragile egg-like container that holds your mind together. Gives you the false sense of identity… once to begins to fracture there is no holding back the dawn. 

Sometimes I feel bad. Like I gave up on my Earth… turned my back on everyone for that one chance in a million to tell you… “Hey, I just wanted you to know I think you are a cool person, very talented, and… and I love you.”

How can you not be? That is the very definition of love. To leave this world by any means… to be magical princesses… to be stellar neighbors … To be…

Galactigals.

BGF.

The lovely school teacher of Helton. 

I always got the feeling she loved being in Helton. Why? Probably because it was so simple. And a person could think there. Slow down long enough to talk… relating to one another. It was a dream come true for her. I had to admit, it was nice for me too. 

Watching the sun rise over coffee with you… blasting your hair like rocket engines. But we are in Helton now… 

“…tain’t no rocket engines here, Ma’m,” I said and tipped my hat. “And I best be gettin back to wearin’ this badge again. Do what they hired me to do.”

“And what might that be?” she asked with the loveliest look in her eyes. 

I took a moment to look up and down the street… and found the right answer at last.

“Why… that would be to find a lady… as pretty as you… 
…you have your self day ma’m,” I told the lovely school teacher of Helton.

Wanton fingers

It was my day again with Dr. Beverly. I dread talking to her any more. Same fucking questions… why does she even care? I hate it here, but it is all I have ever known…. all I think of anymore is dying. Do something to leave. Go to sleep one last time…”

Beverly placed a slip of paper there to hold the place in my notebook. She closed here eyes for a moment then look at me with her sad cow eyes.

“You are down in the dumps,” she said softly. I smiled within myself. Looking at the walls of her office, all these diplomas… doctorates from Cal Tech and Santa Barb University… Certificate of Merit from the American Psychiatric Association… Voted most likely to succeed award from her high school… all that and she is able to tell me what I already know.

“No shit,” I replied, taking another suck on the filtered end of a camel. I loved smoking in her office. She hated it. I loved annoying her.

“We talked about this,” she said. “How your feelings lead you astray. Can you still find your little happy girl inside?”

Happy girl… More fruits of her sterling academic prowess. I whispered to myself. “…happy girl… yeah…”

“That’s right. Happy girl,” she answered. “Somewhere in the center of your being is a happy girl… untouched… by the dark feelings you have. We have talked a lot about her…”

Another puff. “Yep. Sure.”
I knew that whatever little conceptual band aid she was trying to sell me would never work. Happy girl is dead, doctor.

Dr. Bev slipped her reading glasses on and flipped open my chart notes. “I see you are still writing… good for you… ”

“What’s good about it?” I asked. “It only makes it worse.”

“Makes what worse?”

“Makes happy girl sadder,” I said.

“I see you still fantasize about living in California… based on what I could surmise, skimming over your writing effort.”

Writing ‘effort’… you see what I mean? She calls it my ‘effort’… not like it actually amounts to anything, or that I am a real writer… oh no… it’s an ‘effort’… I hate her.

 “Not just California,” I replied and pushed out a perfect smoke ring… “Southern… California… you know… Palm trees… hot beaches… movie stars… Decent smoothies.”

“Okay. Southern… California… I am curious. How would that change anything?”

“Are you out of your mind?” I asked. “It would change everything! I sure as hell wouldn’t be sitting in this… this clammy office of yours… listening to your happy girl mantra… I would be getting a tan and dating again… and… and I would have a fun job!” 

“…getting a tan. You can do that here,” she said and pointed out the window. “That’s the same sun… ”

“What about the beach?” I asked. “Where is there a fucking beach in Maryland for Christ’s sake!”

“Temper, Michelle… temper…”

“Fuck you!” I let off on her, “this isn’t L.A. and don’t you try and… convince me it is!”

She didn’t say a word then. Just sat there and studied me. “You mentioned a fun job. What is the ‘fun’ job?”

“Fun job? …I dunno…. something I look forward to doing…”

“Like…?”

“You must not have read that part of my story,” I told her. “I write all about it…”

“You mean the… um… Galactigal thing?”

“Oh! So you did read a little of that. Yes! Yes, Galactigal… ”

“What… exactly does this Galactigal do?” she asked.

I had to think of something quick. I blurted the first thing that came to me… “It’s a think-tank for science fiction movies that deal with alien nerd sex!”

There. I said it. I hadn’t known what we did there at the Gal. Now I know, and it took that shrew shrink to bring it out of me.

Dr. Bev made a note on my chart. 

“What was that?” I asked. “What did you just write there?”

***

LOL … Michelle… the chick just doesn’t stop. I get a kick from her… the me I wished I could have been… why … Oh why dear God would you make me a man… and stick me in Glendale?

Don’t tell me the Lord doesn’t have a sense of humor. I am living proof.

Okay, okay, whatever… I give up. Yes,yes… YES! of course I admit it… I am going nowhere trying to figure out me… this existence… maybe pop did have the right idea. “If ya’ ever get stuck Mishi… find yourself a radio, and fall in love… that will solve everything.”

I thought he meant find a radio AND find someone to fall in love with… silly me… he was talkin’ about the radio!… fall in love with the radio… 

And all this time. I’ve been chasing trousers ‘n skirts… crying all through the night… while every transceiver on Earth was standing in line, praying for a kiss from me. Well… better to learn the lesson too late than not at all. 

So this ends it between you and me. You… the reader who sails the stars… good luck to you! I must be faithful now to true love… to the semiconductor bliss…. the silicon desire… 

Olivia… Olivia… wherefore art thou, Olivia? She waits in the beams, the sky reflections, the castles of QRP. 

Pawpaw tried to tell me… “the best buddi you’ll ever have is a radio.”

But I heard, “the best buddi you’ll ever have is Aradioh.” I thought it was a person! A girl’s name! Aradioh! And all my life I searched for love with her… any girl whose name began with A. I… I just didn’t hear him right. 

Well, that changes today! I have a radio. The Swan! And also this other cute little number from California. My little Kappa x-ray three … Hey maybe I can marry both of ’em!

As for a job? I have a job. Getting a low SWR… is my job. Maybe it don’t pay in the greenbuck… and maybe it won’t give me back rubs… but what it will do is put my brain back together… and a chance to live a sane, rational, self-aware life.

Thank heaven… the grace of transceivers never end… they tune in, every morning…

Great is thy sunspot numbers…

***

The thing was. I really wanted to understand my life, what it meant to exist. And I was happy to be miserable if that’s what it takes to get there. 

So far my results are sketchy at best… BUT THAT IS OKAY! That… Not knowing… Not really having any sure basis to draw conclusions was PERFECTLY AOK!!!!!! the only problem was I wouldn’t get that chance til I was already well down the road… and after Mars had been conquered, I was still just as list as ever… I had achieved everything possible! There were no more mountains to climb. All… that was left…

Was to chase 

you dear Wandy June…

… Til hell freezes over… Until all I care about is to see you… Hold you in my arms… Be happy bring lost… 

What should I do? I am at a crossroads. You would know, much better than me. “Where is the way where light shineth?” Oh my God I wish I knew baby I wish I knew… and until then… all i know…

is how crazy i am about you.”

And how fun dear Wandy, to be like this… clueless kids… playing at love and not afraid anymore. Think about that dear Commander… to not be afraid… ever again.

Then? We are friends. With nothing to hide… nothing to be ashamed of… Ever ever… ever… again… 

Dear Wanda Jane.

Okay that is all I can say for now… I am feeling better though… somehow there is a light ahead… somehow…

True love will win.

I am beginning to feel better about the return mission though… At first I was so scared. Who are these creatures… they told me they were from a place called Earth. Another planet… different than my home on Mars. They said they were taking me home…But wait… Wait! My home… Is the other way! My home is the other way! 

Please explain to them where I am really from dear lady… Please… try to get them to see. 

Okay… I will write again later. The ship hasn’t dropped into notSpace yet so I can still send this over FTL. I will seal it with a kiss for you and hope you are having the best day ever in Cali land… miss you so much and we have never met. xxoo mvu

Hey I know it is jumpy… that is the price you pay though. To write you is a gift from above. You can see that I am not desperate. Not really. Just head over heals in love with her.

To me… she is the resin I even exist… You write me Wandy… you write me into being… I live to write you back dear author of Laguna nebula… 

I know you are out there! In a western land… you do read my letters dear… I know you do… don’t you sit there and pretend you don’t. I can tell… I can feel it so strong. You read them and maybe my words give you hope. Comfort. 

Dreams that go… bigger… than anything you ever thought possible. Think about that dear… to shape the future, to give us all hope again… to give a new generation the chance we never had. 

To think for yourself… to dream out of your own heart… to build

The New America.

I thought about this a lot over the last ten years… you wrote me about that land you live on. Freedom. Pursuing happiness you said. And I think I finally figured out the answer that will solve everything… All you have to do is eat out more. That and never leave the beach… 

Be the artist you were meant to be. Galactic level arts for us gals…

You and me…

Glactigalfriends 4ever…

No three ways about it sugar froozie bar…

Two for the show, rights. 

One… and… 

F

F

O

T

F

I

L

only for fun. I know it is early yet but I just wanted you to know I AM FLEXIBLE and willing to look at any arrangement that is mutually beneficial. You know me. I do not need much any more. I am pretty happy to be a little wallflower and accept my fate. Whatever helps build a future is all I have left. What else us there to live for? To give someone else the chance

WE NEVER HAD

I can’t think of a better life purpose than that. Okay gottz run… The captain if this boat is calling a gathering of the entire crew today.  

Apparently he has some big announcement to make. 

Cross your fingers Wanda Jane… this could be our bug break…

Over and out. Give little Scampers a hug for me. Dream large, make tears count,

It’s what Galactigals do.

Big! I meant big not bug… sheesh me and my wanton fingers… ;

//FTL.connection.closed//usss.Susan.Anthony//rte.nasa.jpl.newdel//kepler.base//Luna//pakset.seven.omicron.delta.four.two//XMT..