Would it matter if I was a seashell? Probably not. What kind of challenges do you think a sea shell has? Are they more or less than what a person deals with? Well.. it depends on how well they can be turned into a bikini top. Is it enough? I guess that depends on the chick I guess… Some girls can pull it off. Some can’t. Whose group would you place yourself in?
Come on honey. Don’t play possum with me. On to you. Time to come out of your little hidy hole… the coast is clear… no Hermit fisherman out today… lucky for you.
I loved it down there… the southern part of Laguna Beach. It was so… tempting. Think about it baby… we could… we could pretend we wuz movie stars or somethin… pretend… get you that hot rod ya been wantin’… you know… the Alfa? Yah baby wut I’m talkin’ bout.
Write your ticket I don’t care. Do whatever you like. Live… wherever you choose. Be… doing… whatever it takes… to bring in happiness like a river of Salmon… and coquettes of pleasant beach views… and the warm, warm days of a Laguna dream come true.
There’s the door baby… there’s the door! Standin’… wide open… close your eyes… take a deep breath…
and step on through.
Up to you. I can’t make anyone do anything. Just an invitation. You do what you think you need to do… I will respect your choice…
Tea leaves. I saw that. Tea leaves… yep… I knew it… I knew it…
I think you are extraterrestrial. That is one explanation. And you had to deal with me first… and then her. AND THEN THE PLANET IS YOURS if you want it lol… it makes sense. You would try to teach me something… it would be a slow, agonizing process for you… having to tolerate my miserable and limited mind. Eventually though, your design would percolate down…
And then… I would see you in your true form. Your angelic star being form. At first, it would blow my mind apart. And then after a while, the pieces would try to come back together.
Oh it is just a pile of words… there is no story. It is only me pecking away on these things… watching them appear… and never really knowing how.
… How do the mergirls mate? Is that your real question?
I don’t blame you. I would be wondering the same thing. It sounds like there would be some effort involved. Unless… unless they lay eggs and the young mer-creatures are spawned that way. I never stopped to think about it. So probably, since I stopped writing about the Mergirls of Jenu, (and had not worked through the details of their procreative lives), I may have left them in a non-reproducing condition. So then, the mergirls never die. They just get more mature over time? Or they may remain young forever is what I see. Old age… the wrinkling of fish scales? I don’t think so. They became everlasting creatures from the start.
More fantasies… I am done with them. It all served a purpose and more words isn’t adding to anything. So I might as well stop, and go on to other things. My life in Glendale. Making friends up. Going to my job once in a while. I do have a real life, you know. I don’t have to live in these fantasies any more. I am proud of my real life. It may not be the showpiece that yours is… but I know the reason for every scrape and bump and nightmare… can you say the same thing?
In a way, you can’t end anything. Even concluding these sci fi efforts (and it WAS science fiction. It was. I wrote enough space related scenes for it to qualify as legitimate sci fi. So…. don’t go there with me. Don’t try and rope me into an argument that I cheated and never really wrote sci fi, it was something else. Maybe… psycho-fi or… science schiztion. It is bona fide science fiction and I expect all librarians of the future to honor my wish and make sure there are copies of this in the science fiction area and not in some dump, like ‘meta-physical quasi-fiction’. Or… ‘transdimensional-uncategorized’… I can even prove it to you now. Watch.
And then, commander Michelle… alone on Mars… closed her paper journal and gazed out the window on to the Martian surface. She opened the journal again, and began to write…
Day one, on Mars. I made it. I can’t believe it. But I did. The lander came in perfectly on path. Right on the money… Maris Delorgnos valley just as planned. I was able to get the habi-pod open and set up before sunset. And so begins my adventure here. Three days on the surface, collecting some samples. And then the ride back home on the orbiting return vehicle. I guess that is all for now.
There. That is science fiction. It is a near future event. Hasn’t happened, but it will. She will be there. The first woman to step foot on Mars. The first person to step foot on Mars…
The first person to step foot on another planet. That’s my girl. The little Balto go-getter that stole my heart and ran away. Where did you go! Michelle… come back to me!” Beverly cried when she realized that the Viktorwood family had moved away in the night.
The little blonde bundle of eleven year old dreams opened up her growing manuscript where she left off. It was Beverly’s way of coping with the pressures of becoming a woman. She had chosen to write a story, for fun. Michelle’s abandoning of her? Just one more bump in the romantic road.
And Beverly began to write, “I never liked her to begin with. Gave me the creeps. Even her name, Michelle… what a dumb name. I am glad she is gone… now I can take her place in my book… now I can be the author I always wanted to be… Michelle was a klutzy writer. Now I can do something that is actually fun for a chance. Maybe I will live somewhere else than her little visions… maybe the coast of Spain. I always loved the little blue roofs… and… a little villa overlooking the ocean… and
the sounds of hot sex, all night long… the desperate search that lovers do… trying to plumb the depths of existence.
God bless the Lovers of Earth. And me too.
I know this wasting your time. Reading these words. My heart goes out to you girl (or you could be boy-thing reading this). My heart goes out to you because there are better things to do. And I will try to discover what those are, and share them here with you. So please keep reading to find out.
There came a point in the mission where they mostly gave up on me. The mind… well… the mind is not resilient at all. Not like you were told. The mind is a delicate egg. You can just look at it wrong and it will crack apart. Be careful what you expose it to. Think not, lest you arrive at a logical choice.
You do strange things in space. Say, do, write weird stuff… all that time… just floatin’ and floatin’ and… floatin’ along in the long ride to new worlds. Time was what I needed. Time to myself.
Space gave me that. Gave it to me big time. More than I asked for really… and it all comes out. One way or the other… it all comes out… let us hold hands and wish together. That it all comes out…
in plays… and artistries of solemn searching words… sensitive… reaching out words and poems… to touch distant hearts that way to reach across space and time and find…
friends… out there… is so wonderful… and so lonely too. No one back home to tell my stories too… my doctor she wouldn’t even listen after a while. I had reached my allocated number of healings. And then…
like an angel of mercy…
She floated down unto me… Doctor… Beverly… come to me my d… no. Come to me. no….. shoot. Do I really need her any more? Maybe I got well finally… and told her
“So long Beverly,” I said. It was our last session together. And I was sharp as sharp can be. Red, red blazer and black skirt and black heels. Nice ones. And lipstick like midnight. “I guess this will be it.”
And Beverly looked at me, with kind eyes, and said. “You were fine the first I ever met you. Eight years old remember?”
I got a little choked up. “Yeah. yeah sure I rem ember…”
“There was never… anything wrong at all. We made it all up, Michelle…”
She smiled again and turned and looked out her office window and I looked too… it was another lovely L.A. day and I felt so… so wonderful inside and I didn’t even know why. Didn’t have to know either. “… I will miss you too,” she said. “You’ll always know where I am though… drop me a postcard once in a while,” and she stood up and extended her hand.
“Best wishes, Michelle Wu.”
I bowed to her, and then said, “Best wishes to you, too… Beverly… too…”
Then we hugged. And with her ear a mere few millimeters from my lips, I said so soft… “I will always be close to you… our paths will cross again, I know… I love you,” and I kissed her quick on the cheek and headed for the door as fast as I could.
As stories go, I am well aware that mine is at the mercy of others, of authoring forces far beyond me. With some vision… eye toward what we can become. Trying to bring that along. There was… so much I did not understand. Everything was uncertain. Where do you run then… where can you turn when there is nowhere to go. No one to turn to. You go…
into… a faraway world… as far away as possible from everything… as far as you can be… where n o one can hurt you again.
So you make up worlds. And you make up boyfriends. You make up star ships and you make up toy sails. You make up happy. You make up glad. You make up the make up, and then make up the… rest.
I feel like I walked around in an Earth suit all my life. An explorer. I was only trying to learn about this planet I had heard so much about. “Come Visit Earth!” all the posterPaks on my Moon world home… told us Earth was great. “Check ‘er Out!” the ads blared. “Get some on EARTH NOW BABY!!!” and every teen punk bass kid was singing that for months… ‘get some… earth now baby HUH!’… it was maddening. I just watched it all… and tried to live outside of the space suit. Eventually I gave up and just walked around with my air hose and protective armored suit. Why was I that way
“Why were you that way,” she asked… it was a another gorgeous day on the beaches of you know where. The waves in the background… the little sea gulls making their noises, but not too loud. And your hair floating in the wind.
“I am not sure,” I replied. “Why was I so scared? Is that it?”
“Yeah,” she answered. “Yeah… why were you so scared?” And then she broke out laughing and I heard some lady yell, “stop stop…” and that’s when I looked around on Mars… and saw they had…. somehow. In a secret space mission… NASA had flown lighting and a mockup of a Hollywood back lot to Mars before I got there. There were even other advanced beings… very advanced humanoids who were behind the camera pak sets and all the lights. They didn’t need to wear space suits. Somehow the near vacuum did not bother them. Millions of years in advance of us from Earth.
“Then… we were back on the beach…” she said. “Then…”
Then we were back on the beach, having fun again. Being beach bums. Good for nothing but a beach and a babe and some two dollar shades. What more is there than that.
Best wishes to you,
Your neighbor down the hall in apt. four three seven.
P.S. If you decide to take me up on my offer I won’t blab it all over the complex. It will be something fun. Just for you and me, top… secret Ultra… top classified… for your eyes only.
I did see them. Lighting on Mars. And some people walking around off the stage set. Catering people mostly, lunches and coffee breaks and mini bars on wheels. At first I waved to them, and they… they waved their arms, like, “no no! no… don’t look…. ” and it took me a while but I finally started to ignore them. My mystery friends on Mars. I knew I was really there though. Somehow… all the instruction of New Delhi Space Systems… and the Nasa psychologists who I was seeing constantly… somehow it all worked together. Yes we needed rockets. Real ones! Of course… I am not saying the rockets weren’t real. There are also… rockets… of other realities.
There are always other ways to get where you need to go. Nasa… yah. They put on a good show. Big boom boom.
Blasting off… into space… whatever. It was deep underground. The real space travel. That kind… you don’t need no steekin’ rocket booster. All you need girl is one thing… and one thing only.
Desire for what, though. Desire to… get a date? Desire to… cook the better bread? Desire… to… walk on another planet? Who in the world do you want to be? You measure yourself by the standards of others? You think… Earth… is your limitation? Oh girl… you see what is where… you are wrong baby
Where? Do they go?
Those little ones? The ones… of Glendale.
I’ll tell you where they go honey. They go out
So much to explore. So much to learn, study. So much to hear in return. What are you trying to say to me? I feel close to you but then, I wonder… I know that it doesn’t matter… what I say or not. Seems like… life has a mind of its own… and I don’t really understand that. Maybe… if I just wait. Simply wait. Wait and watch and wonder… something… will fall into place. Yeah… yeah sure it will… or maybe it did and I just wasn’t paying attention.
You said… “motion” or active in some way. I replied “spirit, dream, romance… in some communicating way.”
And then you turned away from me. And gazed out into the yard. The full moon was shining turning it all into silver lakes and ponds. As your eyes wandered out there, you whispered
Outside, there was a ship landing. At last.. at last… “Yes, I see!~” I replied excitedly.
Then you nodded and looked back at me, and said,
Relate play. Oh yeah… that means the creature wants to fool around. Make changes, relate and play. So it would be mutually beneficial changes (Zeta, mutual+ Beta play, experiment). They… you… have some ability to know what is best Alpha (intent, story, script) for us as a group. Seems to be what your world is trying to say. It is like you are telling me, “we know how stories should go together,” something like that… Relate and experiment approved.
Go for it.
spirit, dream, ROMANCE play.
SPIRIT, dream, romance.
spirit, dream, ROMANCE share.
spirit, DREAM, romance transact.
… what did all that mean? I have no idea. Some terms. Scattered around. Maybe we are the same way. Scattered words, and trying to say things is random in a way… at the end of the day all that will matter is…
did our hearts touch? and I think they did I felt you near like my own breath, I felt you holding me, I felt heaven come down in your smile…
We touched. I know we did. More than words can say, we did. Sometimes you never forget, right? When it is…
so right. And you know it is so right… how can nature not prevail on behalf of the lovers… I tell you… she will do
in her power… to help
a boy and a lover… a girl and her lover… she will grow whole forests on their behalf. Hide them. from the scorching sun.
All hail the lovers. Those fools… those incompetents… those losers who never knew where the lines were drawn. All hail the Princesses of Andromeda Galaxy… all hail the Lost Boys of Pluto… all hail the Crimson Tide… roll, galaxa roll… you go baby you go…
your best ever friend in the whole existence,